Some days..... are just absolute downers.

Received the call from UNITAR a week or two ago saying I got accepted. However the offer letter didn't come like they said it would.... registration's supposed to be next Monday, and class starts on the 25th. Fine thought maybe it got lost in the mail or something.... but when I went to the uni to find out......

Apparently I cannot qualify to study the course because for some totally fucked reason it seems I have FAILED my A-Levels and don't have any principles. Heck. Made some noise about it... and they couldn't trace my application and shit..... in the end they said I can just come on the day of the registration with the original copy of my results... they will issue me the letter on the spot and I can register.... yadda yadda yadda.......... =.=

And we wonder why so many rich people are opting to go overseas.
Why do I have a sick sorta feeling they are gonna screw me over again on registration day?

Head to Subang later on to get some award thingy from the office - I was unable to attend the ceremony last week and they told me to pick it up from the office. Some 50 pounds worth of book vouchers for my Lit.... Well lo and behold when I got there nobody was at the CAL office. Waited 30mins for someone to dig around the office....make some phonecalls... and still couldn't find it. Was told to come back an hour later for it.

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Okay yay went looking for Ernie. Had lunch together and was feeling really happy about being able to spend some time with him... went back to Taylors later... picked up my "award" which was a folder containing a cert and an envelope....

Turns out it wasn't for the "A" I got for Literature, as expected.
Turns out it was as award for being the third highest scoring candidate in the world for Literature. Okay. Whoa.

But guess what. My 50 pound book voucher wasn't inside... I assumed it was inside the envelope but it WASN'T. Went back to college... got them to check... turns out there was supposed to be two envelopes in the folder. I had only one. And get this - they told me they don't know what to do and will call me soon to update me about it.

Cibai.

And it's gonna take all that hassle to go back to Subang again to pick up some stupid thing that probly doesn't really matter to me anyways.... and surprisingly the award didn't leave me very elated or proud of myself... just the initial shock......

....cos deep down I know it's something I don't care about, it doesn't mean anything to me, and it's just something I'm making myself do for the sake of "job stability"... just like applying to UNITAR. I've never been hyped up about going to study overseas. Never really cared where I applied to or where I'm gonna go. Never really cared who accepted or rejected me cos it's ALL THE SAME. Just because of the money I need to earn later in life - I can't live hand-to-mouth year after year. Just because of what my stupid family will say and ask my parents and compare me with a thousand and one people and offer "advice" which I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT APPRECIATE thank you very much. (And you even dare ask me why the fuck I'm so antisocial. Maybe you'd like to take a guess?). I'm going to go back to sleeping 3 hours a night. I'm going to go back to being downright depressed and trying to put on a brave front day by day... trying to show everyone I'm strong and happy and it's so much fun juggling work and studies.... oh it's no problem just taking out two hours of my time to lift a coupla weights after a goddamn hellfired tiring day....

And oh. A client cancelled on me today.
That was the last fucking straw I tell you.

What else is gonna happen later I wonder. The benchpress rack is probably gonna give way and the bar will break my neck.

Some days screw you big time. I'm tired. I don't want to care anymore.