Ok. I know I have some previous, backdated pics to put up.... but let's get this over with first, kay?? Oh and if some pics don't show up... right-click the cracked image and select "Show picture". If not leave me a message and I'll try to amend the codes. Imageshack is being a bitch-ass ho.

See my previous post?
I guess I was mighty wrong.... :)

On the night of the 29th.... Ernie said he would be around the area and might pop by to see me for awhile. Nothing amiss..... he does do that anyways. And so at around 10.30pm there he was at my gate, and as I went out to open the door for him.... he told me to close my eyes and follow him.

Naturally I hesitated.

Heck, it was one of those nights that I was wearing nothing but a ratty, smelly old nightgown. And no shoes. And you want me to go WHERE!?!?

OK fine, indulge the dude a lil bit...... lol. I closed my eyes and followed him down the road a lil... (dreading which neighbours have been staring) and opened them to find a bunch of friends from church outside with some cake! :D Awwwwww.......................

And then I invited them in and mom started to panic cos she too wasn't appropriately attired. XD And yes I changed out of that embarassing nightgown. ROFL. Why?? Why wasn't it one of them nights when I was opting to wear, say, one of my silk robes instead??? :D

Thank you sayang~ No one else has ever done something like this before.....

And to Allen, Zech, Si Meng and Emae..... Thanks everyone!! *group hug*
And that was just the beginning...... :D

On the day of my birthday itself I was out with Ernie again at The Curve for lunch.


Failed attempt to "bling" my nails out...

OOooo and I got to wear my latest corset OUT for the first time!

^^ You gotta luuurve the versatility of these sexy things....

Meow~

Lunch was at Tony Roma's... Hehe thank you dear.....
My order of Carolina Honey Chicken Tenders..... fuuuh good stuff. The marinade was SUPERB!

Bleu Cheese burger..... missing a bite. Lol. Pretty good too, if you like strong cheeses. ^^

And much later that night.... at Sunway Lagoon Resort.

Seems to be some sort of tradition in my family to go for buffet dinners at every birthday... O.O

There was prime rib on Ernie's birthday.... and prime rib on my birthday too! :D

And a choccie fountain!!!!! ^^ Yaaaaayyy~

Kims and family :) Thanks mom and dad for the wonderful dinner!


Chilling outside the hotel after dinner

And Mr. Vanity is at it again back home........ *shakes head*
Oh wells. He's adorable like that. XD

But I suppose..... still......

*

*

*


Do I have a hell-yeah from the Y-Chromosomes????
Corsets will always be Kimmie's best friend for their all-day-long versatility ;) Rawr.

No prizes for guessing if the person who took this pic got mauled alive.
And I can't wait to get my hands on my belated birthday goodies!!

*sighs*
Feeling somewhat dissapointed right now.
I just don't have a good feeling about my birthday at all.

So. We have returned to the hellhole.
The past few days have been great, don't get me wrong... good things never tend to last long after all.

You've had a marvellous holiday! You seem like you've been having so much fun... People may say all that.... only because they don't understand.

Once upon a time... some of you may be familiar with the old Kimmie. The one who's mantra was to never hold grudges and to never hate. It's too tiring to hate people. I don't have the gall to harbour such unhealthy things within myself. I'd love to be friends with anyone and everyone. Do my best to be accomodating and accepting. And I'd try so, so hard to be liked and loved.

Then came the world bearing down upon me, plus several events leaving me a broken person mentally and emotionally. And the many years of trying to be a good person turned against me.... and years of hate finally erupted. And the new Kimmie was born. Today... I live in the past. I don't put it down. I remember. And it it these memories that drive me forward into my future. Forever striving to be better, to kick dirt in the faces of people who have humilated and rejected me, to laugh back at those who have laughed at me once. I don't forgive, I don't forget. I protect myself this way. Sometimes it seems I have etched a dome of separation between myself and my significant other, and the outside world, letting in only "select" few whom I know will never hurt me intentionally.

I have become aloof, arrogant....... anti-social.
I have torn out the heart of the gentle, selfless girl and replaced it with that of a judgemental, scheming bitch.
I desire no contact with certain people, some within my family even, which I have made very clear on several occasions.

I have allowed Ernie to become one of the main focuses of my life, despite many people not understanding this for I know it is where I am safe to be myself, and I am protected and loved unconditionally, regardless of how fucked I have become.

All this, I do to protect myself today and my sanity. Above all it hurts so much that I don't have a choice. I have been broken many times. I need to end this.

What do you see when you look at me?
A model at the peak of social popularity?
A performer loving the limelight and stage-life?
A strong-willed bodybuilder aspiring to make it to the top?
The luckiest girl in the world with a wonderful man at her every beck and call?
A spoilt kid with all her parent's money at her disposal?
A soon-to-be top lecturer at a prestigious university?

BULLSHIT.
In reality.... I'm just like you and everyone else on the street. Trying hard for a few extra bucks. I have feelings and emotions and I'm human too. I have limitations and I break down too. I cry, I despair, I become frustrated. And I get lonely too. Just like everyone else.

I'm sorry I was never the daughter my parents dreamed of.
I'm sorry I've come out so ugly and freakish in your eyes after years of my work and training.
I'm sorry that what I do is lowly and insignificant and warrants no praise.
I'm sorry I didnt know you expected me to have no privacy whatsoever.
I'm sorry you don't understand why I prefer to seclude myself and why I can't explain it.
I'm sorry all the men I date are never good enough for you.
I'm sorry I can't stand up for those I love either.
I'm sorry I'm related to so many FUCKED-UP people that screw me up and are the reason why I get yelled and nagged at so much.
I'm sorry too that I have so many fucked-up people in my life generally
I'm sorry I have no initiative.
I'm sorry that I have an opinion of my own.
I'm sorry that I am a free, independant individual.
I'm sorry that I don't want to do mainstream, moneymaking courses.
I'm sorry that I was even born
and I'm sorry I'm not doing anything to rectify the sin of my existence.

Like any other child.... I seek approval. Not constant damnation.

Today.... I am me, for what you have done to me. In future....

please don't question me of my silence, or why I no longer speak to you.

Ho ho ho.
Lol. Yeap as aforementioned.... Christmas was a very low-key event for us. Family off to Bahau for 3 days, leaving us with the run of the house. Went to church in the morning, and I must say the Christmas production put together was awesome. :D To everyone on the team, great job!

After that, we pretty much...

Yep. Vegetated at home with a whole lot of food....
And I made dinner on Christmas night.... ^^ I enjoy cooking very much, really, just that I don't get to very often...

Well I guess the holiday is also a period of "reunion" .... EF was open on Christmas as well - yep. Kim and Ernie trainin' thru the hols - and I ran into Joe... a Sabahan middleweight competitor whom I used to workout with at Karonna's. It's been THREE YEARS since and we were like, OH MY GOD when we saw each other at EF!!

Hit Pak Abu's Muscle Gym on Boxing Day... Literally got bullied to bits about my leg workout. Put me thru everything. EVERYTHING. And these guys were pretty enthusiastic about the possibility of me being there as a permanent member too. *horrified* Shit, these people train old-school and INSANE.
*drags battered, shaking body down the stairs, deeply humbled* Hamstrings hurt like buggery now....

Looks like a wake-up call to up intensities and quit complaining. :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!!

:D

I have my latest piece of corsetry in hand right now!!
And I must say it is THE most exquisite one I own right now in the collection..... Dayum!!! And it feels GREAT.


Feast your eyes....
Grrr.... photos NEVER do my babies justice..... It looks so much better in real life! Stupid cam.... the embroidery supposed to be bright gold and a very dark blue, shimmery thread.


*goes all glassy-eyed and dreamy at the intricate embroidery*
And it's NOT that colour in real life, dammit! It's so much nicer!! T.T
Now, give me a reason why I shouldn't be thanking the heavens and earth for my wonderful supplier! And of course thank you Ernie for recieving it for me.... ^^

'Fraid there won't be a photo of me in it... not now when I'm feeling fat n' frumpy... and these STOOPID rashes are still gracing my arms. Honestly I still haven't figured out where I could've gotten the itchies. Yea... and I've not really been in the mood to doll-up and wear makeup and/or contact lenses lately so... dear readers if you spot me anywhere in public do have some mercy on me if I look more bag-lady speccy-hag than my usual perky self.

No seriously, it's freaky kay. I get messages on Facebook and Friendster from people I don't know claiming to have seen me in _________ at xxxx time doing ________ . AND THEY'RE ALWAYS FRIGGIN' RIGHT. Not very funny if you've been caught at a sex shop pointing at the biggest enema/vibrator/bottle of watermelon lube/penis pump/*insert kinky object here* they have.

Aaaanyways.
Christmas is rolling up and my 19th birthday is 5 days after that. Wooohoo!!! I'm not expecting anything at all from my family this year, actually.... not even expecting it to be celebrated cos I've already had a very expensive rendezvous in Singapore and Kluang. Not many plans this year at all.... probably gona go mooch for jobs. And Christmas will probly be just Ernie and me as my parents and bro will balik kampung.... But hey! I guess it doesn't stop me from having a wishlist! :D (btw Wishlist on my sidebar is un-updated)

If anyone knows where I can get a full-faced Israeli gasmask WITH a rebreather bag and tube...
CALL/SMS/MSN/FACEBOOK/FRIENDSTER A.S.A.P!!!!!!!!!!
Cos I suppose that would be all I'll be wanting for Christmas......... along with new lingerie and a stripper pole and dancing men in furry leopard thongs. *innocent*
No don't tell me to ebay it. I've (kinda) learnt my lesson with that latex catsuit.

AND BALLET BOOTS!!! I MUST MUST WEAR 8-INCH BALLET BOOTS BEFORE I'M PAST MY PRIME!!!!!!

Happy holidays, y'all. :D Hugs and kisses!!

CF has come and gone...... woot!! And I've finally had more than 8 hours of sleep after rushing thru all that last minute work...... Found time to actually clean out my entire closet and label my stuff too (wow). And yay no more doing stuff like hand-sewing leather into the wee hours of the morning till my fingers are red and raw... and dumping stuff down drains which makes the neighbours think we massacred people in the house....

Red dye bath!


Very much like fresh blood, no?

Gotta say I've had lots of fun.... it being my first time attending the convention (believe it or not).... and meeting all my lolita sisters after SO, SO long!!!! Aiko, Michi, Yumiko, Bunny-chan, Hermes, Blackcatz and everyone else..... can't wait for the next loli outing!!

Thank you Derek for the tix too!! :D

Comic Fiesta Day 1


Ernie as Ken from Street Fighter.... Kim as Lara Croft.



Ken and Lei Wu Loong (sorry, unsure of spelling) of Tekken going head to head!

Lara posing for the fans


Take me on!! :D

The many booths...

One of the groups from the day's Group Cosplay Competition.

Lara with the rest of the Outpost cosplayers :D


And when I was heading out to change.... someone wanted a pic with me.... in the toilet!!

Didn't take many pics of Day One cos we kept getting requests for pictures... so my cam sat very comfortably in the bag for most of the time. But for Day Two we were in more "normal" clothes, hence in the background and with more opportunities to take pictures!

Comic Fiesta Day 2

Okay. Remember this picture from Halloween??


And how everyone said it was so cutesy and girlie and SO not me?? And how everyone didn't think I'd dare wear something like that out??

Hahahahahaha. Now.

Get a load of this.

XD

Yeap! A pink+white loli dress!!!! With loooooots of lace and ribbons.
Well for years I've been wearing black loli dresses... and I just thought it's time for a change. And to say even tho I'm more well known for my strong, aggressive characters... YES I CAN PULL IT OFF!!!! XD *hysterical laughter*

Ernie in one of his punk/goth outfits


LV and Hermes looking adorably sweet in loli dresses!

And more of my attempts to look cutesy for the photographers....

What an...... unlikely duo.

Some really, REALLY impressive cosplays.... *gasp!*

The Solo Cosplay Competition.... insanely crowded as you can see.... x.x
We didn't enter this year due to crazy last minute works.

Cikgu-sama as Doc Ock!!!!


Yep! We have FINALLY met after 3 years of chatting and forum-ing! XD

Another impressive cosplay... Nemesis from Resident Evil.

And they're joining forces to take over the world!!!!!

Meow. Lol. So random. *lame*

Soul Caliber's Nightmare!! Check out that insane detail.....

Don't know this character..... x.x But damn chun kan....

Looks like CF is a period of reunions.... XD Met Antarnis too... finally..... haha. And Yumiko!

Anakin and Ernie locked in battle

Ernie and Dante...

... who was played by Syauqi

Another poser moment.... ^^

There he goes again..... =.=

Anyone else with more photos...... especially of Day 1... please send em' over!!!!!!! ^^

And OMG Ernie said my parcel arrived today!!!! :DDD My beautiful damask corset~ Wheeee! I can't wait to go unwrap it!!!

And Christmas is coming..... *HINT HINT* ;)